As I’ve been on this journey of decorating my new home, I’ve known that I need to dig in deeper and discover more about myself. I’m aware of the questions I should be asking myself, the exercises I should be going through to uncover what I want my home to look like- they’re the same questions and exercises I’d go through with one of my clients.

So why am I resisting?

I sit here telling myself, just open the old design books. Look through for enduring motifs in interior decorating styles that still look good. Comb your Pinterest boards for rooms that are a 100% yes and identify the themes in those. Pull out your favorite outfits and analyze why you love them.

Yet I don’t do it.

So when I really get silent, get still, and ask myself why I’m resisting doing this work, here’s the answers I receive:

1. I don’t want to box myself in
2. I enjoy iterating more than having a clear answer
3. Maybe I’m just a teeeeeny bit afraid I won’t like the answers I receive

As far as boxing myself in, I am coming to understand that perhaps I don’t have to style every room in the same design style, but instead I can create cohesion through HOW I style a room. For example, some signature vignettes I like to create are those of a chair with a floor lamp nearby, a throw or pillow on the chair, and a side or coffee table with a candle next to the chair. Or how I style consoles and buffets with a large mirror or piece of art, a second piece of art layered in front, and a vase with reaching branches layered in front of both.

The second answer I received when asking myself why I’m resisting was a real eye-opener. I know that I could be more efficient if I were to just replicate things I’d already done or copy looks I admire, but I DON’T LIKE DOING IT. I take real pride in creativity and I enjoy the process of playing. It’s the one thing I can always point to that will bring me out a funk, lift my spirits, and give me a high. I recently listened to to the audio version of Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act (and highly recommend it for anyone interested in creating anything), and he shared something that resonated SO deeply with me, related to this sentiment:

“If you know what you want to do and you do it, that’s the work of a craftsman. If you begin with a question and use it to guide an adventure of discovery, that’s the work of the artist.” – Rick Rubin

I guess I can really call myself an artist then, huh? 🙂

Finally, the fear of not liking the answers from my style journey exercises comes down to being worried I won’t know how to implement in a sophisticated way. A part of me likes quirky and edgy, but I also know I’d thrive if my daily environment felt classy and elegant. This one I’ll have to work on- both mentally in my confidence, and physically through practice.

While I realize this post hasn’t shared much actionable advice, I do hope it has awakened you to introspect on where you may be resisting and might motivate you to take the time and space to ask yourself why.